A Rose by Any Other Name

16 Aug

So I am confused, I am newly single and while not completely ready for a
serious relationship just yet I also am not quite ready to give up on this
absurd notion I have that I will actually meet someone and be able to have a
healthy, fulfilling relationship, so in my spare time I have found that an
entertaining way to pass the time is to peruse the personal ads on Craigslist.
Some of these are so freaking hilarious that I can’t help but nominate them to
the best of catagory but in my travels I have found that there are a great deal
of men out there that point blank will tell you that they are not looking for a
fat chick.

Now, don’t get me wrong, some of them are nice about it, they tell you that
they are looking for someone who is HWP (hight/weight proportionate) but its the
same thing, just a nice way of saying no fat chicks.  But as I was logging into
xanga tonight an article caught my eye, http://www.datingish.com/736154250/what-men-actually-find-attractive/, it
was a blog that someone had posted on the sister sight datingish.com and it was
about the usual stereotype stuff and why it is that we are told that men are
only interested in women who fit into the normal definition of attractive.  She
was discounting this idea saying that judging by the number of guys that she
sees around her campus who are all about the PDAs with women who are the
opposite of the normal definition that this notion is not correct.

All I know is that I sure do have a hard time meeting nice decent men that
are attracted to “fat chicks”

I don’t seem to have a problem finding jerks, so I have obviously masted that
art but where are all the nice guys at?

I leared a long time ago to not let it hurt my feelings when I would see
those dreaded words, it is a preference and some men just don’t seem to be
attracted to bigger women and that is fine because I really am not attracted to
them either.  Those guys seem to be the superficial, high maintenance kinda
guys, you know the ones, they take longer than you do to get ready to just go to
McDonald’s for a Big Mac.  They are the ones who spend every spare moment they
have at the gym on the free weights working on their pecs and 6 packs, and while
I appreciate that some guys just like to stay in shape some take it far beyond
the point of insanity.

What does a nice fat girl have to do around here to meet a decent
man?!?!?

Just recently I got interested in what would happen so I sent out a couple of
responses to guys that I had found on Craigslist that seemed like they might be
nice guys, all of these guys that I emailed had not included the “No Fat Chicks”
clause in their ads so I took a chance.  I sent emails telling about myself and
what I was looking for and in some I included a picture, in some I did not.

In the ones that I did not include a picture of me I received responses
telling me that I sounded really nice and sweet and that they would like to get
to know me better, but with each person, once this photo was sent I never heard
anything back from any of them.

Now, I ask you what is the big deal, I am a woman, a human, I am just like
any other woman, I have needs and desires and dreams and wants, my size does not
affect those things.  I am reminded of a passage from “The Merchant in
Venice,”

“I am a Jew. Hath
not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands,
organs,
dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed
with
the same food, hurt with the same weapons,
subject
to the same diseases, healed by the same
means,
warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer,
as
a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed?
if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison
us,
do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not
revenge?”

What is it about us big gals that puts the guys off?  Why are guys so scared
to date us and why are they so worried about what other people might think if
they were to be seen in public with us?  A friend of mine told me earlier today
that I need to know that I ambeautiful just as I am and that what I need to do
is just switch races, but why should I have to switch races?  Why is it that
most white men are terrified to be seen with a fat girl but, God love’em, the
Black guys and Mexicans sure do love them a thick girl.

In a perfect world, no one would be judged on the outward appearance,
everyone would look past the cover and see what we are on the inside, we would
be judged on our character.  But until that day comes, I say to all you Fat Gals
out there, hang in there, I am told that somewhere there are men who like us,
when I figure out where to find them then I will let you know, if you figure it
out before I do, don’t forget me, grab your guy and then give me a call and
share the wealth.

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