Don’t Dream it, Be It

26 Aug

The other day I came across some pictures of me from high school.  Prom pictures, there was one from Homecoming one year, another taken in Biology class one day in this horrible sunflower t-shirt that left me wondering what I was thinking.  But there was one that was my favorite, a picture of me from sophomore year.

I remember my sophomore year, it was the first year that I felt like I was starting to fit in at school.  Freshman year was a nightmare for me but sophomore year, that was another story.  However at the time I felt horribly awkward and terribly shy (I guess as far as the shyness goes, some things never change) I had no self-esteem and was just sure that there was no reason that anyone would ever give me a second look.  On top of all of that, when I looked in the mirror the reflexion staring back at me was more like a oompa loompa than the reality.

Sixteen years later I find myself staring into the eyes of this girl, a child really, whose simple smile spread easily across her face.  Her sad eyes glimmer with the hopes and dreams of a starry-eyed dreamer.  But, this time I can see what I never could see all along, how beautiful this young woman really was, how simply elegant she was in that picture.  Each picture I looked at as I flipped through these old memories held this same beautiful girl, there she was at 3 and again at 12, each one piecing together another mystery from the past.

When I feel low now, when I feel alone or plain old ugly, I have these mementos from my past to help remind me that girl is still there, peaking around some hidden corner of my spirit.  We never see ourselves are we really are, but with time and perspective you will find that what you see is not always what you get.  Each of us is beautiful in every way imaginable you only have to believe it.

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