It Gets Better

22 Sep

Another life gone.

Another child bullied to death.  Why?

I don’t understand it, I’ve never understood why bullies exist.  What purpose they serve, what satisfaction they find in their taunts and jabs.  I’ve never understood why no one stands up when they see it.  I know they see it, the teachers….the parents….the “friends”.  There is no such thing as a blind eye.

Why?!?!

Growing up I was bullied, not for the same reasons, although I suspect that it would be a different case if I was a child these days.  Oh, how glad I am to not be a child in these times.  The fat jokes were bad enough but I don’t think I could have taken the dyke jokes on top of it.

But, I made it through, sometimes hiding just far enough out of sight to still know what was going on, sometimes from just good old-fashioned acting.  I knew the drill, always scared that someone would find out.  Even now, having to keep up airs around certain people for family sake.  Not that I hide much these days, I think everyone knows now, even if it is a unspoke understanding of silence.  Most days I live my own don’t ask don’t tell, but the truth is there at the surface.

I hurt, all over again, for the children, babies still in some senses, that will never get the chance to know that it does get better.  They all cried out for help but no one was there to answer that call.  I wish that I had been there to answer that call.  I wish that I could have imparted some words of comfort and wisdom on to them, taken a piece of their pain and bore it for them for a while.

But now they are gone, Jayme, Raymond, Trevor, Aiyisha, Tyler, Justin and so many, many more who will forever just be another face, another name, another child.  Dead.

And for what?  So that the zealots can save face and look righteous to a God who said not to judge, to not hate, to not condemn.  A God who told us to love each other.  But, as is the often the case with zealots, they see what they want to see and choose to ignore the rest.  I wish we lived in a world where we didn’t have to pass laws to protect each other because we just did it anyways.  I wish we lived in a world where everyone’s differences were celebrated, instead of shamed.  A place where, even though we didn’t share the same believes or views that we still respected each other.  But we don’t….we probably never will.

If you are reading this, it does get better.  You may not see that light at the end of the tunnel just yet, but it is there, I promise.  Just please, don’t give up!  You may be the ONE, the one vote that passes that law, the lawmaker who pushes for the legislation, they activist who saves a live.  You make the world a better place just by being here, just by being you.  And if you ever feel like you are all alone and unloved, you are wrong.  To that one person who is reading this right now, the person who needs to hear it, needs to feel it, you are loved, because I love you.

It does get better, just you wait and see…..

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