Your Ass is Looking Especially Cute Tonight

4 Aug

Wow! Has it been that long since I posted anything on here…. I feel somewhat neglectful to the small (but I hope to grow) handful of people who read this blog.  My apologies!

It is a miserably hot Texas Saturday morning outside; inside I am quite comfortable in my wonderful air-conditioned house browsing Pinterest for BBW appreciation posts when I came across one that linked to an article in The Village Voice, a New York newspaper of sorts for all things hip and trendy at the moment.  Guys Who Like Fat Chicks, seems unlikely right, but oh, how wrong you would be.  Three pages into the six page article I was reminded of something that my wonderfully sexy boyfriend, Brian, said to me last night as we walked in the door from work.

“Your ass is looking especially cute tonight”

As usual, this was met with the typical , “whatever”, but as I read the stories of guys from all different walks of life who, like my man, are Fat Admirers, I am reminded that “whatever” was not the appropriate response to a comment like that.

For all of my portrayed strength and poise, there is still a frightened girl inside of me that pops up every now and then.  You know the girl, the one who never thought any of this would ever happen for her, that she was of no value in this world simply because she is FAT!  We all know her intimately, no matter how far we have come in our struggle to find our worth, she is always buried somewhere waiting to wreak havoc on our self – esteem.

Recently, I watched Katt Williams on Comedy Central (I taped the uncensored version that came on at 2am so as to not give myself a headache from all the beeped out words) and he made a comment that I had never paid much attention to until now.  He asked how a man (or presumably anyone else for that matter) could affect your self-esteem, it is “esteem of self” after all but I say to that, damn easy.  A person’s self-esteem is formed from what she sees when she looks around her and is told that what she is is ugly, whether that be a body with rolls or a little black girl with the kinky hair, a person can only believe she is beautiful so long when all around her she is told otherwise.

In my search today for all things bbw empowering I was reminded of my self-worth again, and that modesty (at least when it comes to my shape) should not be tolerated.  I am reminded that the next time my boyfriend looks at me and says, ‘nice ass’ the appropriate answer is not “whatever” but instead should be a wide grin and a ‘isn’t it though’.

My motto for today is one that I found on a HAES poster, “I stand for making sure that every little fat girl knows how beautiful she is, and that someday, she too will have a smokin’ hot husband!”

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