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Shades of Grey

18 Feb

I am so over hearing about what a horrible risk the 50 Shades of Grey movie is for the values of America and how God is going to smite me if I go see this depraved, women hating perversion of a movie. Let me just preface this as saying that I have not seen the movie, nor do I plan to while it is in the theaters because, A, the movies are never as good as the books50-shades-of-grey-sortie-soiree-paris-sadomasochiste are and I just don’t want to ruin it for myself and, B, I refuse to pay that much to see a movie anymore. However, I have read the books so I am not like most of the people who are commenting on this topic without any frame of reference.  Let me also preface this by saying that I am a survivor of rape and domestic violence so the subject of both is particularly sensitive to me.
50 Shades of Grey is NOT the second coming of the Antichrist. It is not a violence laden book written to exploit women or to glorify rape or non-consensual sex. It is a story of a young couple who participates in premarital sexual relations, something that regardless of whether it is right or wrong goes on thousands of times a day every day in this world. It is a story of a women who loses her virginity to a man who enjoys having control. It is a story of a womans sexual awaking, her personal sexual revolution if you will, her discovery of what pleasures her and what she finds enjoyment in. She enters into this arrangement fully aware of her choices and the consequences of them.
Now, I am not an expert on the BDSM lifestyle although I do know a little about it. I know that there are people in the BDSM community who detest this movie and the books because it is not an accurate depiction of the lifestyle. This may be completely true, I’ve never known of any Dom/Sub that actually went through with a legally binding contract like Christian and Ana do in the story. What I do know is that true BDSM is never abuse; it is always consenting and everyone that I have ever had the chance of meeting from within this community goes to great strides to ensure the safety and enjoyment of all involved. If the truth be told, although the person in the submissive role has chosen to enter this role on their own it is the submissive who holds the control of the situation at all times, with a simple word or gesture all play can and does come to an end until the submissive is again comfortable with the situation.
Today, I read an article on line in which Olympian Lolo Jones goes to great strides to blast the film and books as well as members of the BDSM lifestyle. I applaud Ms. Jones for having the moral fortitude to remain a virgin in this day and time but for her to take to social media and basically shame an entire group of people, well, way to not cast the first stone there. She is quoted from her Twitter feed as having said, “…God didn’t create sex for that purpose…”. Ok, so since you and God are on a daily speaking scheduled, what did he create sex for? Procreation would be the standard answer and yes, you would be correct, it was created for procreation but I somehow doubt that the Lord created this act expecting us to never find some pleasure in it, otherwise our bodies would not have been designed to experience an orgasm. So, my thought process is that if he created us to feel orgasms and planned for us to enjoy the act of sex then why would he frown upon our exploration of such an act and what brings us pleasure?
There is nothing wrong with basic “vanilla” sex and if this is what you enjoy then bravo, however, there is also absolutely nothing wrong with exploring all avenues of sex, weather it be the addition of watching a porn video as foreplay to adding a few toys to the mix to exploring your darker side with some role playing or a little bondage. If you discover though the course of this exploration that something does not tickle your fancy then there is no harm in having found out but to go your entire life wondering what it would be like to experience something and then miss out on the chance to discover something that would bring you some pleasure, well, that to me is a travesty.
Basically, what it boils down to is what happens between two consenting adults in the privacy of their home (or in an accepting safe environment) is between them and no one else. It is never anyone’s place to pass judgment on what someone decides to do, even if it is something that you yourself find abhorrent. There is but one judge in this world and he died on a cross some 2000 years ago so until you learn how to walk on water keep your sanctimony and your hands to yourself.


Just Another Small Town Friday Night

23 Mar

Ah, high school, the glory days of your youth.  We have all been there, that feeling of being invincible, like nothing bad will ever happen to you.  unfortunately, a group of teens from a small town in eastern Ohio have found out the hard way that everyone has a kryptonite.

This last week in Steubenville, Ohio the rape trial ended for two of the Big Red football team; a group of boys who it seems were kings in the small mill town near the Ohio River.  Seventeen year old Trent Mays and sixteen year old Ma’lik Richmond were convicted to at least one year in a juvenile correction center with a possibility of having that sentence extended until they are 21 upon the recommendation of state child services, Mays was also sentenced to an additional year for the distribution of child pornography, they must register with the state as sex offenders for the remainder of their long lives.  All of this stemming from the 2012 rape of a sixteen year old West Virginia girl who had come across the river, as it would seem she had done many times in the past, to party with the local teen heroes of the Steubenville High School football team.

0312_Steubenville_screen_grab-592x369The media and people surrounding the case would have you believe that this fateful night in August this young girl fell victim to the unwanted advances of Mays and Richmond after having entirely too much to drink for a 40-year-old man, let alone a sixteen year old girl.  Photos were taken and shared via social media of this girl’s limp body being “carried” by the defendants and witness accounts tell of the girl violently vomiting outside of another players house earlier in the evening before the defendants were seen groping and fondling the girl in the back of a car while another person video taped the incident.  The girl’s mother is quoted as saying “The adults need to take responsibility guide these children” while giving a statement to CNN’s Poppy Harlow and I whole heartedly agree, the only problem with her statement is that she is one of the parents that needs to take some responsibility.

As a rape survivor, I of all people understand what this girl is probably going through.  She has the upside of the alcohol impairment that fogs her memory since she was not even aware that anything was amiss until she started seeing the comments and photos on social media, I on the other hand have a vivid memory of that night, one that took many years to not haunt my dreams at night.  No woman asks to be raped and no man has the right to say to himself or his friends that her words say no but her actions say yes.  No one should ever have to feel violated because of the clothes they wear and the way they walk or talk, the look that they give someone or for just simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

These boys were all old enough to understand right from wrong, old enough to understand that just because she didn’t fight and scream no that she was in no way able to consent to what was happening, old enough to understand that passing around photos of a half-naked or naked teenage girl was not only legally wrong but morally wrong.Their friends that night are guilty of complacency, seeing the events and doing nothing about it, not stopping the boys from assaulting this girl and also of seeing that she was impaired and not calling a sober friend or parent to come take her to safety.  The citizens of Steubenville (and of any number of hundreds, maybe even thousands, of small towns just like it) were guilty of turning a blind eye to the “youthful indiscretions” of the Big Red players and their friends, guilty of providing an atmosphere that encouraged this behavior and enabling them to become the hellions that they had become.  The parents (like so many parents these days) were guilty of failing to see that their job, first and foremost, is that of parent to these children, because, at the end of the day, they are still simply children; they lack the perspective to see the consequences to their actions that an adult has.  They were guilty of mock ignorance, assuming that their “angels” would never do anything wrong.  Guilty of placating their children, allowing them to run amuck and failing to give them structure and a foundation of discipline.  They were all guilty of arrogance, thinking they were above the law, above authority, that this would never happen to them.  Yes, guilt can even be placed at the feet of the victim and her parents here and that , I think, is what frustrates me most about this situation, this “taking responsibility” quote from the victim’s mother.  Why does it simply fall to the boys parents to take responsibility for their actions?  Does she think she is above reproach here?  Where is her responsibility for knowing where her sixteen year old daughter was and not knowing that she was across state lines drunk and incapable of making that call.  This, I think, is the ultimate arrogance of all.

Pride goeth before the fall and there may be more fall to come in this case as the district attorney investigates the loose ends I expect to find a string of people who should all be held accountable for the blatant narcissistic behavior of the fallen heroes and its likely that none of them will have any real justice.  Immunity has already been granted to the witness to the crime, the boys who saw and said nothing.  There is no crime in feigned ignorance and arrogance, at most the stores and bars that supplied the alcohol to the teens may face fines and in the grand scheme of things that is a small triumph in a case where so many were guilty and the lives of a generation were altered in the click of a camera.

Civil Rights….What a Joke

27 Oct

This one has been stewing for a couple of days now.

I read a quote on the Facebook page of a mentor of mine the other day that I thought I could shake but the longer I let it go, the more it bothers me.  The quote was from a Tony winning Playwright, Doug Wright,

“I wish my moderate Republican friends would simply be honest. They all say they’re voting for Romney because of his economic policies (tenuous and ill-formed as they are), and that they disagree with him on gay rights. Fine. Then look me in the eye, speak with a level clear voice, and say, “My taxes and take-home pay mean more than your fundamental civil rights, the sanctity of your marriage, your right to visit an ailing spouse in the hospital, your dignity as a citizen of this country, your healthcare, your right to inherit, the mental welfare and emotional well-being of your youth, and your very personhood.” It’s like voting for George Wallace during the Civil Rights movements, and apologizing for his racism. You’re still complicit. You’re still perpetuating anti-gay legislation and cultural homophobia. You don’t get to walk away clean, because you say you “disagree” with your candidate on these issues.”

Oh, where to start?  The quote was on the page of a woman who I respect very much, a fellow blogger, who happens to be a lesbian.  I didn’t respond to the quote, I’ve never really been outspoken of my political views on my Facebook.  If the truth be known, I really don’t have much need for Obama or Romney.  It’s what my father always described as picking the lesser of two evils.  Neither one of them are any good, neither one of them are going to follow through with any promises that they may during the election, although they will both give the illusion of doing so, but you have to pick one, so you have to decide which is the least worse of the two.

But this quote just stuck in my crawl and I can’t shake it.  Let me preface this by saying that I am a bi-sexual woman in a loving, healthy heterosexual relationship.  I have, until very recently, kept my sexuality to myself, allowing only a handful of people to know the truth.  Even with that said, my sexuality is my business and no one elses so you are not likely to find me marching in the next pride parade (besides, I am not into crowds anyways).  My best friend of 15 years is a gay man so to say that I am biased should be an understatement.

Yet, I find this quote offensive.

I have recently come to the realization that I can finally label myself when it comes to a political party.  I am a Libertarian.  In layman’s terms, a Libertarian is a stripped down Republican.  I believe in most conservative ideologies but I believe that the government has no place in telling anyone that they can or can’t marry, that they can or can’t have total say over their bodies.  These ideas are religious ideology and should be left to the church.  If the government is to have any true credibility they need to stay out of the church and the church needs to stay out of the government.  I believe that anyone should be able to marry anyone they choose with no interference from the government.

With that said I have to look at this from the point of view of a realist.  While we remain in a two-party government system this is the way things will remain.  Meanwhile, in other news, the unemployment rate is higher than it has been in decades, job creation has stalled, my pay is not enough to support my family and my taxes are too high.  Jobs are being shipped overseas at an astounding rate, our companies seem to find it ethical to support the economies of India and Mexico and China rather than to take care of our own people and we as a country have just let them do this.  What jobs we do have left are rapidly being taken by illegal immigrants.  Health care, don’t even get me started on this one.  Every time I have been in a hospital waiting room the vast majority of the sick have been unable to speak English (and I am not just talking about Mexicans) and I know that most of them don’t have insurance so they are not paying their bills when they take their passel of children home.  Yet, my President wants to MAKE me get health insurance and then penalize me every year that I don’t have it and he is working to make it easier for the illegal immigrants to come here, legally now, but chances are they won’t face that same penalty.

There is the state of our America, on the Titanic, slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean with not enough lifeboats and the few we have filling up with the rich (Remember the scene in the movie where Cal snatches up the little peasant girl so he can have a seat on the lifeboat and the mate lets him go even though he knows that the little girl is obviously not his) its kinda like that. So, this Doug Wright, a man who I suspect is not struggling much for money, who is not worried about the state of the economy or the jobs situation because his money comes from the Cal Hockley’s of the world and they are not worried about their jobs so much because the President who touted “Change” bailed them out of their financial woes, so of course Doug Wright can find nothing else to worry about then the civil rights of homosexuals.

Civil Rights…. What a joke!!

What is Civil Rights anyways?  The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as,

“The rights belonging to an individual by virtue of citizenship, especially the fundamental freedoms and privileges guaranteed by the 13th and 14th Amendments to the U.S. Constitution and by subsequent acts of Congress, including civil liberties, due process, equal protection of the laws, and freedom from discrimination.”

Let’s speak of the 13th and 14th amendments of the Constitution, if we may.  These two amendments were specifically written to protect the rights of African-American slaves.  The 13th amendment makes slavery illegal and the 14th amendment basically boils down to this, anyone born in the USA is an American citizen and Congress can’t make any laws saying otherwise; anyone born here is considered 100% a person when it comes to counting the constituents for voting purposes, no one who has committed treason against the USA can hold any government office, the Confederate states were up the creek without a paddle when it came to their war debt and the Congress had all the power in the world to enforce these policies.  So, I am wondering how this passage of legislation has come to serve as the holy grail of sorts for everyone else wanting any kind of protection under the guise of civil rights.

If the truth be known, there is no such thing as pure civil rights.  Chances are pretty good that if you defend one group’s civil rights then you are probably stepping on the toes of someone else’s civil rights.  In order to have true civil rights then everyone should have the same liberties as everyone else but you can’t do that.  Take for example, how is it OK for a Black person to use the “N” word but if a White person does we are violating the civil rights of the Black people.  Look at this example, really look at it.  By defending the Black people’s right to use that word and not allowing White people to use it you are violating the civil rights of the White people by denying them their freedom of speech.

It’s a Catch 22, you can’t protect one without violating the other.

Back to the topic at hand, take my best friend, I love him to death and when he finds “the one” I want to be able to give him the wedding of his dreams, I want to spoil his children, and I want him to be able to hold his lovers hand as he crosses over from this world and takes his final breath. I want for him all the things that I want for myself no matter who I make that final step with.  To deny anyone these rights, privileges and opportunities is inherently wrong.  The way to correct this dilemma is to remove the church from the government.

The concept of separation goes back to 1802.  Thomas Jefferson is quoted as saying that,

“Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between Man & his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people who declared that their legislature should ‘make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,’ thus building a wall of separation between Church and State.”

The actual concept of separation is usually credited to John Locke and his ideology of the social contract.  Locke believed that government lacked authority in the realm of individual conscience, as this was something rational people could not cede to the government for it or others to control. For Locke, this created a natural right in the liberty of conscience, which he argued must therefore remain protected from any government authority.  In fact, in 1797, the US government ratified the Treaty of Tripoli which made clear that,

As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion…. that no pretext arising from religious opinions, shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

The courts have handed down decisions protecting the rights of the atheists to not be subject to prayer in school or to have to say “under God” in the pledge of allegiance but we will allow our government to tell us that abortion and gay marriage should not be legal.  These are not political issues, they are moral issues to be decided by individual churches and parishes.  Should church “A” decided that they don’t believe in gay marriage or abortion then that is their moral right to do so.  If church “B” should decided that they don’t have a problem with these issues then more power to them, they can perform all the gay marriages that will be happening.  But to allow church “A” to dictate to the rest of the country that their opinion is the only one that matters and therefore should be law is just as unethical as the government saying that gay marriage and abortion should be illegal.

But to deny that my pay check and tax rate are not as important as the rights of LGBT community is absurd.  My ability to support myself and my family are of GREAT importance to me and should be to any one of the millions of people out there who are struggling to make ends meet from week to week.  So if that means that I, a member of the LGBT community, am perpetuating anti-gay legislation and cultural homophobia then so be it.  Until we fully separate church from the state then these issues will never be resolved completely.

I’ve not found the closure that I had hoped for from this blog.  I still feel offended and if the truth be known, I am now afraid that I have probably offended someone else.  I guess that is why they say that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one…. And they usually stink.

Didn’t your grandmother ever tell you?

14 Sep

By now, most people have already seen the video of Officer Gene Geheb from Keene Texas pulling 77 year old Lynn Bedford from her SUV three weeks ago (for those of you who haven’t, here is the link).  Briefly, Officer Geheb pulled Bedford over for going 66 mph in a 50 mph zone, as he approaches the car he begins to tell her why he pulled her over and ask for her license and insurance, all pretty standard stuff, however, Mrs. Bedford is more than impatient with the officer and interrupts him before he can even finish his opening spiel with “OK….alright….let’s hurry this up I’ve got to go to the bathroom, I’ve got a bladder infection”.  As the confrontation continues, the officer asks her several times for her license and insurance all the while Mrs. Bedford is argumentative and insistent that the officer listen to her before she complies with any of his request, at one point he tells her that if she doesn’t show him her license he is going to “take her to jail” to which she replies, “well, go ahead”.  He then proceeds to pull her from her vehicle, after repeatedly asking her to step out of the vehicle and repeatedly being ignored, and hand cuffs her and sits her in the back of the squad car.

It seems that Mrs. Bedford’s granddaughter has gotten involved and wants to see the officer receive anger management training.  Aubrey McQue has hired a civil rights attorney asserting that her grandmothers civil rights were violated when Officer Geheb failed to listen to what she had to say.  McQue claims that she isn’t planning on suing the city…. yet.

I am flabbergasted at the whole situation!  Needless to say both parties could have handled things much better than they did but after watching the video several times I am more inclined to side with the cop in this case.  I don’t have much sympathy for the grandmother who, in my opinion, had an air of superiority to her when she looks at Officer Geheb and tells him she will give him her license “when she is ready” and then arrogantly provokes him to arrest her and then looks at him stunned when he takes her by the arm and tries to remove her from the car.  I am even less sympathetic when she is surprised to learn that the officer had the whole thing on video as she tries, from the back of the squad car, to play it off like the officer was in the wrong, playing dumb by telling him that she didn’t tell him to arrest her and that he grabbed both of her arms when trying to get her out of the car when he clearly has it on video other wise.

I also feel like Officer Geheb could have handled things a little better once it came to the point that he knew he was going to have to arrest her.  You can hear the officer call for back up as he is trying to remove Mrs. Bedford from the car.  Again, in my opinion, when he took her by the arm and tried to remove her from the car and she refused to move, he should have taken a step back, called for back up and waited until it arrived before proceeding.

Now, with all this said, I have seen many, many comments on news stories from people siding with the cop and siding with the grandma, most of the people siding with the grandma in this case have stated that because of her age she should have been treated more patiently and compassionately then she was.  To this I say, phooey!  You are operating a motor vehicle and have the ability to kill people with said motor vehicle, she was speeding so she was already showing disregard to human life by speeding, if she really needed to go to the bathroom stop at any of the gas station/grocery store/McDonald’s bathrooms along the road and use it, still no excuse for speeding.  Patience?  We all know what is expected of us when we are pulled over by a cop, its not a surprise to be asked for your license.  Go ahead and start getting it ready while you are waiting for the cop to come to the car so you can just hand it to him, or as you are getting it out for him once he has come to the door, tell him, look I really need to go pee, I’ve got a bladder infection, can I give you this and you follow me to (name spot near by) so I can use the restroom?


Patience, you say.  Patience is what got HP Trooper Randall Vetter killed in August of 2000 by none other than one of the elderly you seek to find patience for.  72 year old Melvin Hale of Kyle Texas was pulled over for a seat belt violation when Mr. Hale pulled a semi automatic rifle from under the seat of his vehicle and shot several rounds, hitting Trooper Vetter in the head and killing him.  You never know from car to car if this may be your last so you have to treat each situation the same regardless of age or gender because you never know who has a shot gun under the seat of their car.

Back to Mrs. Bedford.  The city administrator, an old family friend of the Bedford’s, arranged a meeting with Mrs. Bedford and the Chief of police until Mrs. Bedford’s granddaughter, Aubrey McQue, stepped in, retaining an attorney and canceling the meeting.  After seeing Mrs. Bedford’s behavior with the officer it is small wonder that her granddaughter would step in seeing potential money signs with a possible lawsuit against the city.  This, my friends, is what is wrong with America today.  No body wants to take responsibility for their actions and they all want someone to pay them for some injustice they feel they’ve been subject to.

My mother used to always say, “Jennifer, you catch more flies with honey than you do vinegar”  This is one old adage that Mrs. Bedford should have heeded.

The Rise of the New Regime

15 May

Adolph Hitler was once quoted as saying, “All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach.”  I spent many years studying the history of World War 2 and Hitler’s rise to power; how he was seemingly able to brainwash an entire country and convince them that all of their woes lay at the doorstep of the Jews and the Gypsies, anyone who didn’t fit his “ideal”.  The scary part is that the country bought it.  In times of trials, people are susceptible to almost all kinds of propaganda and thought control.  I imagine that had Hitler’s rise to power occurred some eighty years later that it would have started out a little like this.

Did you know that we are in the midst of a catastrophe?  I know I was as shocked as you.  You are probably asking yourself what more of catastrophe we could possibly be in, after all we, as a nation, are in debt up to our eyeballs, the unemployment rate has skyrocketed, healthcare is in a shambles and no one seems to be able to point us in the right direction.  Never fear though!  We have a scapegoat….OBESITY!!  If history repeats itself then surely this must be how the holocaust began.

It always seems that when a country is at its lowest point is when someone swoops in and saves the day, pointing out what we were all oblivious to without their wisdom and if the Jews were to blame for the financial failings of 1930’s and 40’s Germany simply because they looked differently than the fat people of America are to blame for the mess America is in today.

Follow my logic here.

I don’t watch a lot of television, preferring to be outside fishing or reading than indoors but I did catch a glimpse of a commercial for HBO’s new documentary, “The Weight of a Nation”.  Not since the sad sack stories of “The Biggest Loser” have I seen such blatant disregard for logic and common sense.  Go to the website and you are fed a stream of “facts” about obesity and its drain on society;

“One in four adults gets no leisure-time moderate or vigorous physical activity at all.”

“The obese workforce costs American business an estimated $73.1 billion per year.”

“Currently in the United States, 4% of elementary schools, 8% of middle schools, and 2% of high schools provide daily physical education or its equivalent.”

It’s always weight isn’t it?  Fat people are an easy target, easy to spot and sure some of them have some serious health issues that should be addressed.  But it’s far easier to motivate a nation to wage a war on obesity when the target doesn’t look like you.  Truth be known, there are just as many unhealthy skinny people in this country as there are fat ones but the fat ones are easier to pick on.  As a nation we have taken on the anti-bullying cause lately but it seems slightly hypocritical to tell our kids that it’s not cool to bully someone who is different than you and then we are a nation turn right around and bully a large group of people just because they look different than us.

Hitler and the Nazi’s did the same thing.  Post World War 1 Germany was a nation in shambles, broke and demoralized they needed something, someone to blame their hardships on.  Its human nature to look for a culprit rather than to take responsibility for your own failures and Hitler provided an outlet for that frustration.  Fast forward eighty years and an ocean away and we are faced with similar turmoil here at home.  Rather than face the reality of the situation, the government would rather keep us engaged in an unofficial civil war, a battle between ourselves than to face the grim reality of the situation we are in right now.

I don’t know about you but, I for one am tired of always playing the scapegoat.  If a documentary named “The Weight of the Nation” had aired on television and was fair and balanced and showed all the sides of the problem then I would be content.  If we spent as much money researching the effects of bad eating habits on the human race in general rather than focusing on one segment of the population I would be ecstatic.  If we could stop judging a group on their outward appearance I would be trilled, in fact I would be overjoyed!

Fat people of the world unite!  We are NOT the problem!  We are not the cause of the healthcare crisis in America.  Greed is the problem!  Stand up and take a stand!  We are in a unique place in the world now.  They can’t throw us all in a fat camp and make us starve till we fit their standards.  This is how revolutions are started and baby, it’s time for a revolution!

Support Beauty for All

29 Feb

I know I’ve talked about this before but its been frustrating the hell out of the more than ever in the last couple of months.  Why is it so freaking hard to find cute clothes?

Sure, sure, I don’t have a problem finding clothes to wear anymore, I mean, chances are that there is a Lane Bryant or an Avenue or even as a last-ditch effort, a Wal-Mart, near where ever I happen to be but just being able to find clothes isn’t enough! I want to find CUTE clothes!

By nature, I am a country girl at heart, so I love a good pair of blue jeans and a comfy shirt and sure I can go to Lane Bryant and pick me up a pair of their outrageously priced $70 jeans that fit in all the right places (at least as much as all the right places can be without having them altered by the dry cleaner down the street).  A pair of jeans is a pair of jeans to me.

I want this shirt right here!  And lots of shirts just like this one, different colors, different designs.  Some long sleeve, some short sleeve, some sleeveless.  This is my style.  This particular shirt comes from a division of Panhandle Slim called Rock and Roll Cowgirl; usually you can find these (along with similar brands like Miss Me Jeans, Wrangler, Rock 47 – another Wrangler brand – and Ariat) at a local Sheplers or Cavenders.  I tend to avoid these stores, they depress me.  I can walk into a Sheplers in the best mood, good self-esteem and within five minutes I am ready to commit myself.  I do look at stores like these, in the off-chance that I might be able to pull off the look with something I find at my usual haunts; usually it doesn’t work all that well.

As if it’s not bad enough that they don’t carry “extended sizes” the sizes they do have run way smaller so even if you could normally wear an XL you can’t in these brands.  I am relegated to the men’s department at the Goodwill to find loose button down plaid shirts to wear in an attempt to look country.

What is so wrong with making clothes, ALL CLOTHES, in ALL SIZES?!?!  If I choose to wear something that looks truly horrible on me then that is my choice to do so!  It doesn’t affect anyone any more than say some random skinny girl walking around with her butt hanging out the bottom of her shorts and her midriff showing.  I have enough self-respect (and I speak for most of us fat chicks out there) not to wear something that is going to embarrass me to wear (ie, walking out of the house dressed like Pamela Anderson.)  But I deserve to have the option instead of designers and retailers telling me I have to wear oversized Disney tee shirts and tops that look like they were designed for my grandmother because that’s the only thing they want to see me in.

Well, it’s not the only thing I want to see ME in!  I say we are not going to take it anymore!  It is time to stand up and say we deserve to look beautiful too!  We are not going anywhere people! So get used to it!  I am taking a stand! Join me at and spread the word.  This sort of stuff works all the time for other causes so I believe it can for us to!  Its time to tell fashion that we are not going to swept under the proverbial rug – we deserve to look beautiful too!

Hey You 99% – Quit Your Whining Already

27 Oct

On the way to work this morning, like every morning I was listening to the Kidd Kraddick show when Kidd began doing a spoof of Kelly and what her views were on the Occupy Wall Street movement.  Now, I have not paid that much attention to this foolishness going on in cities across the country but as I listened to Kidd imitate Kelly this morning I found myself fervently shaking my head in agreement with most of what he was saying.  I realized that I needed to do some more research on this modern-day hippie movement.

I admit when I first really paid attention enough to realize what was going on in New York I found myself agreeing with the protesters.  After all, I am frustrated beyond belief with the government and the position that they have gotten us in.  I usually am good for an idea or two a day on
ways that we could change the status quo but I’ve never been ballsy enough to organize a group of people the way the Occupy movement has.

However, when I visited the movements website I was shocked by their list of “demands.”  Guaranteed living wage regardless of employment!
Across the board debt forgiveness!  Free college education!  What in the hell are these people thinking?  I ran as far away as I could as fast as I could.  I refused to be associated with this group of beatnik riff raff who just expected that everything should just be handed to them without any regards for any moral or social implications.

I am all for peaceful demonstrations, I am for voicing your dislike of the system and for attempts to change what you don’t like, after all that’s what this country is all about but when you get into the outlandish and far-fetched that I draw the line.  I can sympathise with the frustration but expecting not to have to pay for your actions is just absurd to me.

I had planned to blog about the Occupy movement, I started out doing research on it but along the way I discovered that a different movement of people.  I decided that I didn’t want to give any more attention to the Occupy movement but rather I wanted to bring attention to this new movement, the We Are the 53% movement.

The 53% movement, founded by Erick Erickson, a CNN contributor who founded the blog RedState.  He started it with a simple Tumblr account with a picture of himself holding a picture of a sign that read:

“”I work 3 jobs. I have a house I can’t sell. My family insurance costs
are outrageous. But I don’t blame Wall Street. Suck it up you whiners. I am the
53% subsidizing you so you can hang out on Wall Street and complain.”

I quickly joined this group of people, some with jobs, some without, black, white and everything in between, young and old, but all of who pay taxes and struggle to make ends meet but yet don’t bitch about it.  We are the people who pay taxes so that the other 46% can sit in that park and
bang away all day on their drums.  The 53% are a collaborative that believes in hard work and self-reliance.  Co-founder Josh Trevino was quoted as saying,

“Even if you’ve had a difficult time, that this is America, and there is
still value in hard work, and individual self-reliance…times are hard, we are
in the worst economic crisis since Great Depression, but nonetheless, the same
American values are really the way out of it,”

At the end of the day, ultimately, the responsibility is yours and yours alone.  You are the captain of your own destiny and the only way to make it in this crazy world is through hard work and determination.  Sure we all make mistakes, I myself can’t even get a gas card in an attempt to help build my credit; I pay 19.99% interest on a car loan just grateful to find a bank willing to take a chance, I am having to rent to own my bed because I couldn’t afford to buy it out right all of this because I made mistakes when I was younger that I am paying for now.  At the end of the day, it’s no one’s fault but my own and I am the only one who can get me out.

Quit blaming others for your choices!  Quit living off the system and grow up, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

I am the 53% and proud of it.