Tag Archives: books

Shades of Grey

18 Feb

I am so over hearing about what a horrible risk the 50 Shades of Grey movie is for the values of America and how God is going to smite me if I go see this depraved, women hating perversion of a movie. Let me just preface this as saying that I have not seen the movie, nor do I plan to while it is in the theaters because, A, the movies are never as good as the books50-shades-of-grey-sortie-soiree-paris-sadomasochiste are and I just don’t want to ruin it for myself and, B, I refuse to pay that much to see a movie anymore. However, I have read the books so I am not like most of the people who are commenting on this topic without any frame of reference.  Let me also preface this by saying that I am a survivor of rape and domestic violence so the subject of both is particularly sensitive to me.
50 Shades of Grey is NOT the second coming of the Antichrist. It is not a violence laden book written to exploit women or to glorify rape or non-consensual sex. It is a story of a young couple who participates in premarital sexual relations, something that regardless of whether it is right or wrong goes on thousands of times a day every day in this world. It is a story of a women who loses her virginity to a man who enjoys having control. It is a story of a womans sexual awaking, her personal sexual revolution if you will, her discovery of what pleasures her and what she finds enjoyment in. She enters into this arrangement fully aware of her choices and the consequences of them.
Now, I am not an expert on the BDSM lifestyle although I do know a little about it. I know that there are people in the BDSM community who detest this movie and the books because it is not an accurate depiction of the lifestyle. This may be completely true, I’ve never known of any Dom/Sub that actually went through with a legally binding contract like Christian and Ana do in the story. What I do know is that true BDSM is never abuse; it is always consenting and everyone that I have ever had the chance of meeting from within this community goes to great strides to ensure the safety and enjoyment of all involved. If the truth be told, although the person in the submissive role has chosen to enter this role on their own it is the submissive who holds the control of the situation at all times, with a simple word or gesture all play can and does come to an end until the submissive is again comfortable with the situation.
Today, I read an article on line in which Olympian Lolo Jones goes to great strides to blast the film and books as well as members of the BDSM lifestyle. I applaud Ms. Jones for having the moral fortitude to remain a virgin in this day and time but for her to take to social media and basically shame an entire group of people, well, way to not cast the first stone there. She is quoted from her Twitter feed as having said, “…God didn’t create sex for that purpose…”. Ok, so since you and God are on a daily speaking scheduled, what did he create sex for? Procreation would be the standard answer and yes, you would be correct, it was created for procreation but I somehow doubt that the Lord created this act expecting us to never find some pleasure in it, otherwise our bodies would not have been designed to experience an orgasm. So, my thought process is that if he created us to feel orgasms and planned for us to enjoy the act of sex then why would he frown upon our exploration of such an act and what brings us pleasure?
There is nothing wrong with basic “vanilla” sex and if this is what you enjoy then bravo, however, there is also absolutely nothing wrong with exploring all avenues of sex, weather it be the addition of watching a porn video as foreplay to adding a few toys to the mix to exploring your darker side with some role playing or a little bondage. If you discover though the course of this exploration that something does not tickle your fancy then there is no harm in having found out but to go your entire life wondering what it would be like to experience something and then miss out on the chance to discover something that would bring you some pleasure, well, that to me is a travesty.
Basically, what it boils down to is what happens between two consenting adults in the privacy of their home (or in an accepting safe environment) is between them and no one else. It is never anyone’s place to pass judgment on what someone decides to do, even if it is something that you yourself find abhorrent. There is but one judge in this world and he died on a cross some 2000 years ago so until you learn how to walk on water keep your sanctimony and your hands to yourself.


New Does Not Always Equal Better

16 Aug

orig. published 5/10/11

There is something to be said about the ease and convenience of having
electronic devices and Lord knows that I live and die by my mp3 player and I was
completely lost today while my phone was out of commission but I just can not
bring myself to buy one of the eReaders that are taking over the market these
days.  I would love to be able to have the newest books or magazines the day
they come out without having to leave my house but there is just a connection
that I have to a book.

Some of my fondest memoires as a child are of reading a good book.  Every
summer I would participate in the city summer reading program, the librarians
all knew me by name, I would spend my entire summer with my nose stuck in a
book.   Every year I would beg my parents for book money when the book fair came
to town and I would load up on books, I’d come home with 5 or 6 books and they
would only last me a couple of weeks and then I would be begging to go to the
library for more books.  I still have a couple of my favorites that are so worn
from re-reading that I am afraid to even touch them anymore.

There is something about the smell of a new book (or an old one for that
matter either) the crispness of the pages, the feel of it between my fingers,
the weight in my hands.  It just seems unnatural to me the idea of a Kindle or a
Nook, being unable to read because I forgot to charge it one night.  Not to
mention the economic affects that shutting down stores and the jobs lost in the
publishing field but beyond that, holding a cold hard appliance just does not
have the same feel or stir the same love and fond memories as pulling that old,
musty, weathered favorite paperback out of your bag, curling up in a chair with
a cup of hot coffee and entering a world devoid of any worries and cares and
just for a moment forgetting about everything around you and surrendering to the
charm of a good book.