Tag Archives: the fat files

This Time the Fat Girl Won!

28 Oct

Dear girl staring at me wondering what he is doing with me,

Yeah, I see you staring .  I can see the wheels turning in your head as you look me up and dothe time the fat girl wonwn with your judgmental glances as you try to figure out what he is doing with this fat girl when he could so obviously have his choice of any girl in this place.  I know you are staring at him too, trying to catch his attention, trying to flirt with your eyes, trying to nonchalantly suggest to him that he come over and talk with you.  I also know that if I was to look away long enough you would discretely slip him your number and maybe even, not so discretely, give him a little peak at what would be waiting for him.

There was a time when I would be intimidated by you and your obvious lack of class and your flagrant disregard for that ring on a very important finger.  There was a time when I would have backed down and almost handed him over to you with a ribbon on his head.  There was a time when I would have gone home and worried and cried over not being “pretty” enough to make him stay.

Those days are gone.

You see, this tall drink of water that gets to spend the next hour or two as your eye candy, well, he is coming home with me.  That’s right; he IS coming home with me, just like he does every night and has done every night for the last two years.  That is the difference between a man and a boy and make no mistake, just because that buff hunk of masculinity that you fawn all over at the gym may have the body of a Greek god, does not make him a man.  A boy is concerned with appearances and putting on a show to fit in; a man, he is concerned with substance, more than just the vapid dissection of Kanye’s proposal to Kim.  He looks to see who will be a good mother for his children, who will raise them with morals and values, he is concerned with finding someone who will be there with him through thick and thin and not just till the money runs out.

You ask yourself what he sees in me and I will tell you, he sees me.  He sees my heart and my soul; he sees what is under all the pretentiousness and make up and he is mature enough to understand what truly matters at the end of the day.  So, while at one time you and your seemingly flawless perfection would have had me quivering in my flip flops, now it just amuses me.  I get to sit back and have a good laugh with my sexy beau at your expense, secure in the knowledge that stare and flirt as you might you are not even a blip his radar.

Besos!!

This time the fat girl won!

Your Ass is Looking Especially Cute Tonight

4 Aug

Wow! Has it been that long since I posted anything on here…. I feel somewhat neglectful to the small (but I hope to grow) handful of people who read this blog.  My apologies!

It is a miserably hot Texas Saturday morning outside; inside I am quite comfortable in my wonderful air-conditioned house browsing Pinterest for BBW appreciation posts when I came across one that linked to an article in The Village Voice, a New York newspaper of sorts for all things hip and trendy at the moment.  Guys Who Like Fat Chicks, seems unlikely right, but oh, how wrong you would be.  Three pages into the six page article I was reminded of something that my wonderfully sexy boyfriend, Brian, said to me last night as we walked in the door from work.

“Your ass is looking especially cute tonight”

As usual, this was met with the typical , “whatever”, but as I read the stories of guys from all different walks of life who, like my man, are Fat Admirers, I am reminded that “whatever” was not the appropriate response to a comment like that.

For all of my portrayed strength and poise, there is still a frightened girl inside of me that pops up every now and then.  You know the girl, the one who never thought any of this would ever happen for her, that she was of no value in this world simply because she is FAT!  We all know her intimately, no matter how far we have come in our struggle to find our worth, she is always buried somewhere waiting to wreak havoc on our self – esteem.

Recently, I watched Katt Williams on Comedy Central (I taped the uncensored version that came on at 2am so as to not give myself a headache from all the beeped out words) and he made a comment that I had never paid much attention to until now.  He asked how a man (or presumably anyone else for that matter) could affect your self-esteem, it is “esteem of self” after all but I say to that, damn easy.  A person’s self-esteem is formed from what she sees when she looks around her and is told that what she is is ugly, whether that be a body with rolls or a little black girl with the kinky hair, a person can only believe she is beautiful so long when all around her she is told otherwise.

In my search today for all things bbw empowering I was reminded of my self-worth again, and that modesty (at least when it comes to my shape) should not be tolerated.  I am reminded that the next time my boyfriend looks at me and says, ‘nice ass’ the appropriate answer is not “whatever” but instead should be a wide grin and a ‘isn’t it though’.

My motto for today is one that I found on a HAES poster, “I stand for making sure that every little fat girl knows how beautiful she is, and that someday, she too will have a smokin’ hot husband!”

“SWM ISO No Fat Chicks”

11 Oct

It never fails to amaze me at the shallowness of the human race.  I understand that there needs to be a physical attraction, I get that because there are people out there that reply to my personal ads that I am not attracted to but how can you even attempt to find significant, long-term, supportive love based upon the superficial.

All these people out there claim that they are looking for love and companionship or they are looking for someone to care about them, someone celebrate successes with and to love them even when they fail, someone to be their best friend.  In reality what they are looking for is someone to be arm candy and for sexual gratification.

Pardon me if I sound slightly bitter its just that I get so tired of seeing that dreaded line in every flipping personal ad… no bbw… no fat chicks… hwp…   Just because someone doesn’t fit neatly into this little package doesn’t mean that its wrong.  The old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” comes to mind.

If you find someone who fits every thing that you say you are looking for but they don’t look exactly like you expected that they would, don’t rule them out just yet, you will never know what you are missing out on by not opening your eyes and really seeing what is standing right in front of you.

19 Aug

I’m always happy when I find new curvy-positive blogs and sites, places that we can turn to find the support system that many of us need to continue to hold our heads up high and rock our sexy, voluptuous bodies.  Even the most confident women out there has her share of days where she doesn’t feel so confident.

I must do some page pimping right now since I have found a new blog that I really love.  I am still pretty new to the whole word press thing and so I was trying to find some sister blogs last night that I could add to my blog roll and maybe some places I could turn to for inspiration and that boost when I need it.  That place came in the form of The Curvy Girl Revolution (http://curvygirlrevolution.com/)

It’s a simple place, lots of video clips of interviews and what I love the most is the abundance of pics.  Curvy girls of the world unite! Ms. Eves has found and posted some of the most beautiful curvy women I have ever seen flaunt their stuff.  It’s always wonderful to see real women (and not the women that some “plus size” places tell us are real) willing to bare it all, rolls included.

I encourage you to check it out and see what it’s all about! Just remember my lovelies!!

XOXO

-Jen

 

Love and Tolerance

16 Aug

“They are ugly, unsexy, undignified, and above all, very good at making
excuses for their sorry fat arses!”
This quote was a comment in response to
an article on yahoo about an upcoming plus size fashion show in New York next
week.  I shuddered to read this statement and all the old insecurities that it
brought flooding back with it.  As I scrolled though page after page of comments
ranging from the highly supportive to the highly offensive I was reminded again
of just how far we have left to go in this country, well really in this
world.
Its just amazing how we are taught at such a young age to hate
diversity, weather that be due to size or skin color or religious differences or
anything else.  We have been so brain washed into believing that what we see in
the media, on TV, in the magazines is beautiful that it breeds this kind of
ignorance and eventually breeds violence and hatred.
The people who call us
fat now are the same ones who did when we were children, the same ones who
picked on us on the playground, the same ones whose words and actions tormented
us well into adulthood and even caused some of us thousands in therapy trying to
figure out what we should have known all along, that there was nothing wrong
with us.  We were and are unique and beautiful and deserving of love and
acceptance.
Still, after all of this time and work, all it takes is one
ignorant statement like this to make so many of us cringe in fear.  Even me, as
I read this hurtful comment, had a brief moment of remembrance of what it was
like to be that scared little girl on the playground, that lonely young woman
home alone on a Friday night, that angry adult frustrated by one after another
failed attempt.  It makes me remember just how far I have come, just a few years
ago something like this would have sent me into a breakdown but now it simply
reminds me that still, after all of this time, we don’t understand anymore than
we did years ago.
We are all beautiful, it does not matter if we are a size
00 or a size 44, black or white, short or tall, young or old because these are
not the things that truly define us.  Who we really are is who we are inside our
souls, its the caring and the supportive natures that make us beautiful.  Its
how we react when we see a hurt stray animal on the street, the honest to
goodness down on their luck homeless person on the corner begging for change,
the family that lost everything they had when their house went under water, the
people pleading for help dangling from the window of a building moments before
it collapses into a heap of rubble on the ground.  The shell is just that, a
shell, a vehicle used to house the soul, we are not a world of people but a
world of souls, we all love and hurt, laugh and cry, feel and need the very same
things.  It saddens me to see that there are still ugly souls left in this
world, some who gather great joy and pleasure in others discomfort and pain and
its for this reason that I cry when someone says :
“They need to stop pigging
out and work on a REAL body for a women.
Size 14 is NOT Beautiful!!!!
Fat
slobs!!!!”
I wonder again just why there is so much hatred in the world, so
much sadness and fear and why we are so incapable of loving the soul and not the
shell.

If Peter Paul Rubens Ruled The World

16 Aug

This would be what everyone asprired to look like….

Click to view full-sized imageAndromeda

View Image
The Union of Earth and Water

View Image The
Judgement of Paris

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Venus Pudica

View Image The Three
Graces

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Angelica and the Hermit

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Venus at the Mirror

View Image
Nereid and Triton

Who else is proud to be
Rubenesque?

How Young is Too Young?

16 Aug

A new study finds that girls as young as three years old worry that they will
become fat.  How would a child that young even know what fat is let alone that
they are or are not fat?  A segment on GMA focused on a little six year old girl
near Houston who thinks that she is fat and worries about losing weight.
Seriously! Six years old?  I shouldn’t be shocked, I was teased as a child about
my weight as young as seven or eight, but maybe I was raised a little
differently, I don’t remember looking at any of my classmates and thinking that
they looked different than me, to this day, some twenty years later my mom still
has to remind me that one of my childhood classmates was a little black boy and
I was just amazed when she pointed it out to me years later that I never saw it
before, but it was how I was raised.

These children soak up this mentality from things they hear us adults say, a
mom who says that she needs to get to the gym so she can lose weight, a teacher
who won’t eat even a small piece of cake during a class party because she is on
a diet, our obsession with our image is beginning to rub off on our children and
this sets the stage for future eating disorders and years of therapy trying to
undo something they had no control over.

I have to wonder how much the media and governments “battle of the bulge”
affects these children’s outlooks.  We are constantly telling these children
that they need to be active and mindful of what they eat, which are wonderful
lessons that they need to know, but these lessons need to be reinforced at home
and they need to be reinforced at an early age so that by the time they are able
to make those decisions on their own they make the wise decisions.  Yet, a
cautionary note, something that I have said from the beginning, just because the
physical appearance seems to indicate that someone is overweight does not make
it so.  That little girl from Houston I spoke of earlier, she is happy and
active and according to her pediatrician, she is completely with in the
“allowable” weight and BMI range for a child of her age and height.  While I
don’t put much stock in the medical communities prescribed weight and height
charts, by all accounts this little girl shows no signs of being at risk of
being obese.  Yet, she is still teased by her peers, one little boy at a recent
birthday party refered to her as the “fat girl.”  In fact, one of her teachers
has told her that she needs to run more so that she can “loose her belly.”

There is so much more to life than your weight and when adults put so much
emphasis on the topic of weight and weight loss, especially in front of a group
that is so easily influenced, we set up a whole new generation to repeat the
patterns that, in all honesty, have gotten us where?  When we stop allowing our
children to be baby sat by a Nintendo and quit allowing McDonalds to be the
daily chef de jour and use the these moments as opportunities to teach how to
make wise decisions then the focus is not on being fat or thin, its about being
healthy and when it is all said and done, that is where the focus should
be.

So, how young is too young to be worrying about your weight?  How old were
you when you became aware of your weight and appearance or went on your first
diet?