Archive | December, 2011

Why I’m Proud to be a Redneck

30 Dec

Being a redneck has gotten such a bad rap lately.  Most of the time if you call someone a redneck they get offended and storm off in a tizzy.  Not me though, I’m proud to call myself a redneck!  Why you may ask…because I understand what the real definition of a redneck is.

A real redneck is proud of their southern roots.  They wouldn’t dream of living anywhere else because the south is the best place in the whole wide world to live.  And why wouldn’t we think this way, look at everything the south has to offer, field upon field of some of the most beautiful wildflowers to be seen, Some of the finest looking guys and ladies come from the south, we perfected sweet tea, cornbread and greens, home to some of the best fishing spots to be found.  Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!  Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don’t do “queues,” we do “lines”; and when we’re “in line,” we talk to everybody!  Southerners don’t just live in the South, we respect it, and it’s as much a part of our identity as our name or our eye color.  Sure we love things like the Confederate Flag and you are likely to hear the very old among us talk about the South rising again; don’t think we are racist, the flag and the South are just a part of our heritage, it’s who we are.  I mean how many Mexicans do you know that still fly the Mexican flag even though they came here to make a better life?  They still have pride for their history and background.

A real redneck works!  You heard me right!  We have jobs and we are proud of the work we do.  We are the blue collar work force of America.  If it wasn’t for a redneck you probably wouldn’t be driving that car you drive, your plumbing probably wouldn’t be working right now and you dang sure wouldn’t have the oil you need to heat your home or lube your car engine.  In the words of Jerry Clower, a redneck will have a job if for no other reason than to have money to stop at one of those places alongside the road to visit with his friends on his way home.  We don’t mooch off Uncle Sam and we are proud of a hard day’s work.

A real redneck guy is genuine, caring and has manners!  I’ve dated guys who claimed they were redneck before but I real redneck guy will put you first, always makes sure you are taken care of and well, he may not always have a lot of money but he has no problem spending it on his girl.  At the same time, a redneck girl knows she can take care of herself but is lady enough to let her redneck beau take care of her.  She is gentle and sweet, caring and loving but piss her off and you will know for sure that you have run across a true redneck girl.

Sure we love hunting and fishing and playing in the mud with our trucks but look at it this way, we are self sufficient.  We don’t need a store to feed us and mudding makes for fun free entertainment.  What a redneck is not is an asshole or ignorant or trashy.  Sure we may sometimes live in mobile homes and drive old run down trucks but we take pride in what we have.  We don’t pick on the underdog, we don’t judge on stupid stuff and we don’t hurt others.  The media portrays us as a bunch of inbred yokels but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Some of the best people I know are rednecks!  So next time, before you judge, think to yourself what a real redneck is, you might actually find that you really are one after all!